Bondage for Beginners: The Ultimate Guide

Are you looking for something new to spice up your nights? Do you want to explore but aren’t sure where to begin? Don’t worry! Here at MoeFlavor, we know a thing or two about thinking outside the box … especially in the bedroom. 

One way to add some excitement to your private time could be embracing bondage. If you or your partner are Googling new ways to have a little fun, you’ve probably come across the concepts of bondage and BDSM. If you think bondage might be exactly what you’re looking for, we have compiled the ultimate guide for beginners (or those who need a refresher) all about the world of bondage, BDSM, and tips and tricks to have fun and explore with confidence and consent. 

This is a safe space to learn and explore, and we hope that this guide can help you and your sexual partner(s) to enjoy the bedroom in a new way. 

What Is Bondage? 

Bondage is all about power play and dominance. The term BDSM is a combination of acronyms that stand for three similar but distinct communities that use power imbalance for sexual pleasure. 

These acronyms can be broken down into:

• Bondage and discipline (B/D)
• Domination and submission (D/s)
• Sadism and masochism (S/M)

The B in BDSM stands for bondage, which involves consensually tying, binding, or restraining one’s partner with ropes, handcuffs, or other items for erotic or aesthetic stimulation. The BDSM that we know of today was actually inspired and influenced by the Japanese bondage art form of shibari, which is an advanced form of rope play. 

What Type of Rope Should I Use? 

There are lots of different ropes that you can use for BDSM and rope play, but we recommend using a softer type of rope. Rather than using a hemp or nylon rope (which could irritate the skin), look for a rope made specifically for bondage. 

This will help you focus on enjoying the experience and not worrying about if you or your partner’s skin is getting irritated. The extra hassle isn’t worth it when there are lots of affordable and good-quality ropes out there to choose from. 

Another thing to research is different BDSM positions. Oftentimes, there is a dominant or a submissive partner — one that likes to gain control and one that likes to lose it. Now, it’s okay if it isn’t established from the beginning who has each role, and that commonly just comes with time and exploration. 

There are also some people called switches who enjoy both the dominant and submissive roles and can easily switch depending on what their partner likes or wants. 

No matter which position you prefer, it’s always fun to explore your needs when discovering BDSM. It’s also totally normal if that position ends up changing over time — no one says we have to say the same forever, especially in the bedroom. BDSM positions are a perfect example of this!

Along with ropes and positions, there is a wide range of products and websites dedicated to BDSM that you could visit for more information. Still, to save you some time and money, we have compiled an all-in-one guide to everything you’ll need to get started. 

Here are our top five tips and tricks for beginning your BDSM journey in a fun and safe way. 

5 Bondage Tips and Tricks for Beginners

Consent and Trust

This goes not just for experimenting in the bedroom but for all things all of the time. Never do anything (especially when sexy times are involved) without prior conversation, consent, and trust. 

It’s probably not wise to experiment in the bedroom with someone you just met; it’s best to explore with a partner you intimately trust to avoid any unsafe or awkward situations. 

Always get verbal consent, and don’t try anything new if you are unsure if you have the go-ahead. Set ground rules for what is and isn’t off limits when it comes to physical boundaries and exploration. And that’s on keeping you safe, keeping your sexual partner safe, and just being an all-around decent human being. 

2. Set a Safe Word

Speaking of safety, consent, and trust, it’s always a good idea to come up with a safe word in case anyone changes their mind during play. This further establishes safety and trust in your relationship and can help avoid any uncertainty about boundaries.

Every bondage practitioner should establish at least one safe word with their partner to signal a line has been crossed or a break is needed. Additionally, you and your partner can choose two different safe words for different situations. It’s often a good idea to have one that signals a stop in action and another that signals you should ease off or move the session in a different direction. 

3. Start Slow

If bondage is new to you and your partner, you may not want to dive in head first. It’s important to make sure that you are exploring and trying new things to see if you actually like it, instead of rushing into an experience because of nerves and missing out on something you could actually enjoy.

Going slow also allows you to really listen to your partner and their body language. Always take things step-by-step at first, and enjoy the new journey you’re on with your partner! It’s especially helpful to be aware of all things in the moment, and by taking things slow and easy, you can really be perceptive to your partner and your surroundings. 

4. Keep It Simple

It may be exciting to think about this new sexy situation with your partner, and you may want to go all out. Just like you should take it slow in the bedroom, for the sake of your wallet, take it slow on the purchasing of items when just starting out too! 

You don’t need all the gadgets, toys, and gizmos just yet. Keep it simple with a high-quality rope, handcuffs, and a blindfold. That’s really all you need to figure out if bondage is for you. 

Of course, if you want more, we encourage you to expand your inventory — but start small when you are just beginning this journey. There’s no use in stocking up only to discover BDSM isn’t for you or your partner. If you’re super excited about this new journey and want to make it special, buying some fun lingerie can help get you in the mood, too, without encouraging you to go overboard.

5. Aftercare

Even when it’s consensual, bondage can be pretty intense. It’s important to take care of each other after you experiment or after any fun times in the bedroom, TBH. 

Aftercare includes cuddling and spending time together, of course, but it also includes sitting down with your partner after the sex and talking about what you liked and didn’t like and what you should continue doing in the future. 

This not only helps re-establish further trust, but it allows you both to continue exploring without any guesswork. Communication is key in all relationships, but especially in sexual ones. Always communicate and consent so that you can enjoy yourselves safely and to the fullest. This helps keep the excitement up as well, especially if you both are on the same page. 

So… What Now?

The only thing left to do is try out BDSM for yourself! Open up that conversation with your partner about potentially exploring BDSM, and see what they think about it. 

Who knows? It could be something that they themselves have been wanting to bring up for a while but weren’t sure how. This is an exciting time for you and your partner, and we hope that we helped give you the confidence to open a conversation and explore each other in a new and exciting way.

Last but not least, don’t forget … if you are looking for the perfect outfit to try BDSM in, check out our website for some sexy leather lingerie that will make you look as sultry as you feel in a classic BDSM look. 

Be safe and have fun on this new journey, from all of your friends over at MoeFlavor! 

 

Sources: 

What Is BDSM? Definition, Benefits, and How to Get Started | VeryWell Mind

Bondage sex: Benefits, tips, and how to perform | Medical News Today

BDSM for Beginners: What It Is, Words to Know, and How to Start | Greatist